Why My Dog Will Never Have a Jumbone Again

Aka: Oh Shit. Literally.

That’s right, I gave the dog a jumbone for Christmas. If Gouda was still here I would have known better. I wouldn’t have given her one because I would have known it would tear his stomach up and we would all live to regret it. Without him here I thought I could get her a fun and tasty treat and she’d (temporarily) love it etc etc.

And so she did.

Christmas morning while Jack was opening his gifts (the ones he managed to open before he got tired of opening gifts and just wanted to play with the new toys he’d already opened, dammit) Layne was there shoveling that jumbone as fast as she could chew.

Fast forward to Monday morning, I heard Jack on the monitor so I got up to go pee before going to get him and on my walk to the bathroom I noticed one of Layne’s beds was moved and thought “well that’s weird” and I pushed it back to its home and then went on to the bathroom where I saw a pile of dog crap on the floor.

“Uh-oh,” I thought, and at that point I was really just thankful that she had the good sense to come do it in the bathroom on the easily cleaned up tile floor. So off I went, quietly back out, because Nate was still sleeping and I was going to be nice and let him stay that way, back around to my side of the bed to get my cellphone and then I’d go out to get a plastic bag and some spray to clean that crap up.

And then I stepped in it. That morning Nate quite literally woke up to me saying “oh SHIT” as I realized the dog bed had been moved to cover another pile of crap on the carpet and I had just stepped in it (thank god for socks). So much for letting him sleep in. Points for intent though, right?

So up we got and cleaned up the crap. My sister has my carpet cleaner, but fortunately we have a spot cleaner, little green something or other as a backup and that was enough.

So the moral of this story is “don’t try to do nice things for the dog, she’ll only poop on the floor.” (Not really, I’m sure she felt like crap (haha) and only went on the floor as a last resort and we did feel really sorry for her, but I definitely felt more sorry for me and Nate for having to clean that up.)

The forgotten child

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