Because the email is just too funny, I want to take a minute to share it with everyone.. unless you too have been so lucky as to win the “BASS LOTTERY PROMOTION NL.” in which case you know how awesome and authentic and totally believable the email is.
Sir/adam, (I must be “adam” because I’m certainly not “sir”)
CONGRATULATIONS !!! (YES! THANK YOU!)
We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lotto NL Winners International programs prior to winning notification on Your e-mail address attached to ticket #: 055903228100 with prize #1178009/UK drew 700,000.00 Euros which was first in the 2ndclass of the draws (did anyone else get that? because they lost me at “We are pleased”). You are to receive 700,000.00 Euros (Seven Hundred thousand Euros) (for those of you who don’t understand the numbers). Because of mix up in cash pay-outs, we ask that you keep your winning information confidential until your money (700,000.00 Euros in case you were too stupid to see it the first 3 times) has been fully remitted to you by our accredited pay-point bank. (Please don’t tell anyone you won this lottery until we get all of your account information because then it will be too late and you’ll
already be SCREWED) This measure must be adhere to avoid loss of your cash prize – winners of our cash prizes are advised to adhere to these instructions to forestall the abuse of this program by other participants. (Adhere? Forestall? Big words make them sound smart and legit.) It’s important to note that this draws were conducted formally (and then they went and ruined it), and winners are selected through an internet ballot system from 60,000 individual and companies e-mail addresses – the draws are conducted around the world through our internet based ballot system. The promotion is sponsored and promoted Lotto NL. We congratulate you once again. We hope you will use part of it in our next draws (isn’t it hard to use negative money to buy lottery tickets?!) the jackpot winning is ?85million (?85million and all I won was freakin 700,000 Euros?!). Remember, all winning must be claimed not later than 20 days (but if you don’t respond in 20 days, don’t worry! You’ll totally win the next “draws” too!). After this date all unclaimed cash prize will be forfeited and included in the next sweepstake.
Please, in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications remember to quote personal and winning numbers in all correspondence with us. Congratulations once again from all members of Lotto NL (All 2 of us). Thank you for being part of our promotional program (Sucker). For immediate release of your cash prize to you, please kindly contact our Paying Bank (Chartered Finance & Securities Den Haag.)(Oddly, when I googled this bank name, all I got were links to pages containing my winning letter. Word for word. Man this lottery must is a sure thing!)
Send them the following:
(i). Your names (as many names as you have bank accounts under!),
(ii) Contact telephone and fax numbers
(iii) Contact Address
(iv) your winning numbers
(v) Quote amount won.
(Because how else can they earn your trust and get your bank account information?)
Contact person: Mr.John Pitcher.
Email : firstname.lastname@example.org
Tel: +31 622-598-161.
Congratulations once again.
Yours in service,
So wow. Thanks Susan! This is what it feels like to win the lottery.