Attn Work

Attn Men:
Specifically those of you who use the restroom right across from my office. Please throw paper towels away in the trashcans in the bathroom. If you choose to instead throw your trash away in the trashcan next to my office door, should you miss, PLEASE PICK IT UP. I mean really. Do not leave your trash on the floor in front of my office, that’s just LAZY.

Attn Vending Mahchine:
$1.10 for a soda? Really? Now I have to find an additional dime in order to get a freakin soda? And also.. does the machine really need two Diet Dr. Pepper slots and ZERO regular Dr. Pepper slots?

Attn My Badge:
Please let me into the building. And the copy room. Please.

Attn Heat:
Please turn on. That is all.